Friday, September 30, 2011

The Mon Ain't the Only River Flowing North, Just the Best One


It is widely known that the Monongahela flows north, unless you're a jagoff that's not from the 'Burgh. We here at ChampYinz always just assumed it is the only river that flows north because, well it is here in the 'Burgh, and we're one of a kind. Turns out we were wrong. Here's an article of rivers that flow north. Thanks to WorldAtlas.com for this article!

Rivers That Flow North
(actually downhill) in a northerly direction

THE FACTS: Unless the land it totally flat, rivers of water run downhill. The vast percentage of rivers on the planet flow in a southerly direction because the source (usually in the mountains) is to the north of the mouth.

If the source of a river is at a higher elevation than the mouth, that river will run from the source to the mouth. However, if that (higher) source is to the south of the mouth, that river will then flow to the north (downhill).

Below is a partial list of rivers (length listed when known) that do just that. We haven't listed rivers that run to the northwest, or rivers that don't meet the exact requirements

Athabasca Alberta, Canada, 765 miles
Bann Northern Ireland
Bighorn Wyoming and Montana, USA, 336 miles
Cauca Colombia, 597 miles
Deschutes Oregon, USA, 250 miles
Eel Northern California, USA, 78 miles
Erne Ireland and Northern Ireland, 60 miles
Essequibo Guyana, 600 miles
Fox Wisconsin, USA, 200 miles
Genesee New York, USA, 144 miles
Jordan Utah, USA, 45 miles
Lena Russian Federation, 2735 miles
Little Bighorn, Wyoming and Montana, USA, 80 miles
Magdalena Colombia, 1062 miles
Mojave Southern California, USA, 100 miles
Monongahela Eastern USA, 128 miles
New Virginia and West Virginia, USA, 255 miles
Niagara Lake Erie to Lake Ontario, 39 miles.
Nile Africa, 4150 miles
Ob Russian Federation, 2289 miles
Oswego New York, USA, 24 miles
Otter Creek Vermont, USA, 75 miles
Pend Oreille Washington, USA, 62 miles
Red Minnesota, North Dakota, USA (into Canada), 318 miles
Richelieu Quebec, Canada, 208 miles
Saginaw Michigan, USA, 20 miles.
Saint Johns Florida, USA, 275 miles
San Pedro Mexico (into Arizona), 142 miles
Shennandoah Virginia and West Virginia, USA, 55 miles
Wilamette Oregon, USA, 188 miles
Wallkill New Jersey, USA, length unknown
Yenisey Russian Federation, 2548 miles
Youghiogheny Eastern USA, 151 miles

Friday, September 23, 2011

Some Mike Lange Love

Everyone who is a Pens fan knows Mike Lange. The popular announcer started with the Penguins in 1975, and is known for his "Lange-isms", or creative calls of Pens' goals. Here are our favorite Mike Lange expressions.

"He doesn't know whether to cry or wind his watch"

This classic is Lange's call when a 'Guin undresses an opposing goalie before putting the puck in the net. Super Mario's long reach made it easy for him to make goalies look silly. Now it is Sid and Geno that evoke this call, but it is still a classic. We assume it is a reference to the goalie being late on the play, but we couldn't find any confirmation.

"He's smiling like a butcher's dog!"
The earliest we remember this call was for Shawn McEachern's first NHL goal. It could've been used before then, but that is the earliest we remember. The meaning of the saying is pretty self explanatory.

"Michael, Michael Motorcycle"
We're not sure who Michael is, or what he has to do with a motorcycle, but it just sounds great in Mike Lange's voice. 

"Call Arnold Slick from Turtle Creek"
This one is pure gold. To all the non-Yinzers out there this may look dumb. For those of you who don't know, in Pittsburghese the word "creek" is pronounced "crick" so this actually does rhyme. Sayings like this are what make Mike Lange a legend in the 'Burgh for his incorporation of Pittsburgh culture.

"Buy Sam a drink and get his dog one too"
We don't advocate giving booze to animals. We do love this call though. 

"Get in the fast lane Grandma, the Bingo games ready to roll"
I'm pretty sure the only time Grandma's drive fast is on the way to Bingo.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, Elvis has just left the building!"

This is easily Lange's most well-known call. It signals a Penguins victory and the end of the game either by time or empty net goal. This also signifies the end of this post. We hope you enjoyed reflecting on the brilliance of Mike Lange as much as we did!


Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Penguins Fantasy Hockey Names

It may not seem like it, but hockey is just around the corner! Fantasy hockey leagues are forming and drafts are starting. The age old tradition of crafting creative team names featuring player names is in full effect. We here at ChampYinz thought we'd share some Pens-related names for those of you struggling with a name. Share names you come up with through Facebook and Twitter and we will make sure to post them! 

PENGUINS RELATED FANTASY HOCKEY NAMES

Malkin In the Middle
How much better would that show have been if Geno was starring instead of Frankie Muniz?

You, Me, and Dupuis
We definitely prefer seeing Duppers over Owen Wilson. Who doesn't love seeing a solid manly stubble over a crooked nose?

Orpik Your Poison
Got a team full of superstars? Don't tell your opponent to pick his poison. Make them Orpik their poison!

Craig Adams Did Have a Beard
We all know Grizzly Adams did have a beard thanks to Lee Trevino in Happy Gilmore. Come playoff time, so does Craig Adams.


Honorable Mention Names: King of Engelland, 8 Ball Connor Pocket, Cooke Me Something I'm Starving.

Share any names you come up with using a Penguins name and we'll post them on Facebook and Twitter along with your name!
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